02:54 pm: Spam -> Poetry 2 "Cobra" Adapted from spam sent to me by a Mister Manno McComb.
Ahn nyeong, Inncrease Sexual EEnergy and Pleasuure!
And i dont jump at him all of a sudden, and risk with a little strong vinegar, make little balls, stop her.
Many apologies, 'ses de hipperkrit for they had fallen in love with each other. They me up, i say.' he began to sing and trickseywee with fish.
Just the same, he remembered about old man that pottered about the house all day but you say he is innocent.
are you certain of she was. She must go on. She went on.
she mounted holiday in a year, if no one fell sick, and we all they had rrived by now at the ruined castle, fainted, and dropped again in a deeper swoon than made right.
When's your father coming home? I to him, which affords as fair an example as can laughed at his bewildered face, and then began.
Filled with wrath, began to destroy thy ranks, a sudden unstringing of the bow, that he heard delighted in battle, that son of pandu is protected bacon.
The girl sat down, and with the greatest in the fierce battle of old between the celestials legal, as the certificate showed, and mr. Parsons, and addicted to fighting. Then all people, harassed the west indies, and other countries.
The currency of the senses.557 thus the living creature is, fair of, gurney, hudson, his paper on the bayeux the fire, and smoke.
Sidenote: nabide a spartayne bow. And a dreadful river of blood began to flow and the king of the frogs obtaining the leave with success who hath won his friends by gifts, of indigestion, denied the possibility of movement..
11:31 am: being undead: worse than europe
I dreamt of living in a society of undead (zombies, specifically). It was challenging in many ways, but the biggest problem of all was finding living-to-dead power adapters. The living controlled the entire electronics industry, so if I wanted to plug my living-made computer into my undead outlet, I needed that adapter.
02:15 pm: tubby the tuba - finally, insight into its creation
I'm an idiot. And being an idiot, I do idiotic things like this from time to time. Sometimes I even get some of my idiot friends to help me, as was the case in this instance. What's most sad to me is how much effort this took.
Embedded below is the first ten minutes. For the rest, go here.
04:14 pm: carpentry
I've never been more impressed by anything I've seen on the internet. This makes me both sad that I didn't think of doing this and giddy that it can be done--and done so convincingly with little or no attention paid to props, sets, costume or makeup. It's all character. And this gentleman nails it like an expert carpenter.
I have such mixed feeling about this. This person has earned both my pity and my undying respect. In a way, he's a hero. What he does inspires me, but I can also really identify with the level or loser-dom he exhibits.
On St. Valentine's Day in 1349, roughly 2,000 Jews were burned to death by Christian mobs in Strasbourg. These mobs, led by nobles who owed large sums to Jewish moneylenders (usury being a sin for Christians), blamed the Jews for poisoning the city's wells and causing the bubonic plague.[9]
"Yeah, we owe you a few bucks. But you guys caused the plague! So not only are we not going pay you back, we're also going to burn you to death."
As I've said many times before, I call this day "V-Day" not only as a sort of abbreviation, but because, as everyone knows, the letter V often represents a vagina. Interestingly enough, I'm so known by my friends and colleagues as being attracted to these feminine artifacts that I'm affectionately known as any of the following nicknames:
V Boy
V Man
V for (Vaginal) Victory
Double V (two vaginas)
You Stupid Cunt (a bit playful)
The V
V-V
Vagina (seems a bit derogatory)
The Man Who Loves V
Pussy (again, seems more like an insult)
Douchebag
11:11 am: still stupid (after all these years)
Until a few months ago I thought "hump day" was in reference to the day when married people generally have sex - like an unspoken rule about marriage. You have sex once a week, right in the middle.
Just wanted to let people know that I'm still here, and I'm still an idiot.
08:01 pm: protagonist: i'll have the pie, waiter.
they were filming a scene outside my work building today which, from what i can tell, was just a fat guy eating dinner alone with a sad look on his face.
i've been thinking about possible scenarios in which this scene takes place: a) whomever he was eating with left in a fuss b) whomever he was eating with went to the bathroom c) whomever he was eating with went to the bathroom, and has been gone for a really long time, which is making the fat guy think that this person has abandoned him. d) this is some kind of dream sequence e) the fat guy is dead and this is some representation of heaven--like how movies often depict heaving in wacky ways (heaven as a bowling alley! heaven as an old man's living room! heaven as a bar (talking heads, dude)! and so on) f) this guy's just fat & depressed, and he's eating alone. just how it looks. end of story.
On Jan 1, 1600, the human population was 536,870,911. If the first vampire came into existence that day and bit one person a month, there would have been two vampires by Feb. 1, 1600. A month later there would have been four, and so on. In just two-and-a-half years the original human population would all have become vampires with nobody left to feed on.
11:31 am: making memories
After Saturday's karaoke I went to a bar with a guy I work with. By that time I was really drunk, so I don't remember how this happened:
I only know one other person in this picture.
Apparently I insisted that he give me his camera so I could have the bartender take this picture. I guess when I'm drunk enough I become a tourist.
02:00 pm: first bullshit
According to this page which chronicles various "firsts" :
FIRST CUP OF TEA According to ancient myth, in 2737BC, a handful of dried leaves from a tea bush blew into a pot of boiling water, into which the Chinese Emperor Shen Nung was staring. There is no record to say why the water was being boiled, or why the Emperor was staring at it, nor why the leaves had been dried. The story relates that the resulting brew was henceforth known as "tchai", and became China's national drink during the Tang dynasty (AD618-906).
I'm not hesitating to call bullshit on this one. I mean, we have actual evidence for most of the other ones. If we don't know, we don't know. Why resort to myth? And if we are resorting to myth, why go with such a shitty one? How does a story like that survive for so long? It's rubbish. It's the equivalent of a story I wrote in 9th grade about oranges* being discovered centuries later, and rather than throw it in the "useless bullshit" pile, they decide to keep it around for citation's sake.
*I wrote a story in 9th grade about how awful dried up oranges are, and how it's basically impossible to tell how dry they are before you buy them. So my idea was to "inject" the orange with some kind of syringe containing orange juice.
You damn rock star. You know all the basics, and if you got any wrong, I bet it was that stupid Traveling Wilburys question.
Your friends are probably intimidated by your knowledge of classic rock and envy your impressive collection. When a classic rock song comes on the radio, you can probably identify it before the vocals kick in most of the time. You probably get good scores on the "maiden name of Clapton's mom" tests, too.
My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
58.82 % (10)
